It was like a match made in heaven. Exciting and new; you saw endless possibilities, and the sky was the limit. "A Pro-Mantic Relationship", you loved your profession and your profession loved you --- a roomy office, great professional connections, autonomy, and flexibility. But after just a few short months (or maybe years), you are realizing that perhaps all that glitters may not be gold, and that the grass is undoubtedly just as brown on the other side. The dream job that you were so enthusiastic about is not as dreamy after all. No matter the reason (financial, job responsibilities, interpersonal relationships, unclear advancement path, etc.), you may not want to throw in the towel yet ... because you may very well be at the root of your unhappiness!
Below are the 6 C’s --- my tips guaranteed to add the spark and rekindle the pro-mance.
Check Yourself.
That’s right. It’s time for some good, old-fashion self-assessment. Sometimes it is so much easier to find fault with others. “My boss is a poor communicator.” “My team is not effective.” “My co-worker is not pulling his weight.” But let’s take some responsibility for ourselves. Whenever I deliver a professional development workshop or a coaching session for clients, I start with self-assessment, because I believe it is so, very important. In my book, “Marketing You: Be STRATEGIC”, I outline some self-assessment strategies. The key point is that In order to determine what we need to do, we have to figure out where we are.
Where are you falling short? What actions have you taken or failed to take that have absolutely contributed to the breakdown of the pro-mance?
Correct Yourself.
Okay, in assessing yourself, you’ve identified some personal hindrances -- those challenges that get in the way of success for you. It’s great to be aware, but it is more important to take action. Be the example. Your personal accountability and the action you take can motivate others to effectiveness. And honestly, action is empowerment. If I take action to correct myself, not only am I more effective, I feel better about myself and the situation.
Change Your Attitude.
We have all heard it said in one form or another that our attitude has a direct impact on our altitude. Our view of situations and how we respond to those situations can accelerate or impede our progress. And our attitude can have a direct impact on how others perceive us. So, my advice is simple. Fix your attitude. If you dislike your current situation, ask yourself “why?” What is it that you dislike? And instead of focusing on that which you do not like, redirect your energy on finding the positive. Instead of obsessing on the things that you do not like about your co-workers, boss, workplace, etc.; reach deep within to identify the positive qualities, and direct your focus there.
I am certainly aware that this is easier said than done, but I am living proof that it can be done and is quite effective.
Communicate Effectively.
It’s a known fact that poor communication is a relationship killer. It leads to frustration, disappointment, resentment. . . But what do you do, if your boss or co-workers are not effective communicators? It’s simple, take control of the communication. How?
When you need information or need others to take action, make sure that you are asking direct, specific questions and clearly setting expectations regarding how and when you want the response delivered. Also, make sure when you are requesting something from a boss, co-worker, etc., that they understand the relevance of the request. That’s right, explain why you need the information and the benefit to them in providing the information. Whether folks admit it or not, people always want to know “What’s in it for me.”
When sharing information, take into consideration the recipient’s communication style. What type of information does he/she trust? What type of information do they need in order to get the job done? In answering these simple questions, you can provide a relevant, succinct message that meets the recipient’s needs and makes you a trusted source of information.
Communicate in positive terms. No matter the situation, never speak negatively about people or systems. If a system is flawed, speak in terms of solutions. “This is the flaw, and this is the solution”. No one wants to hear someone whine about problems; instead, decision-makers want to hear from people who are pro-actively, preventatively creating solutions!
The bottom line to effective communication is to say what you mean, mean what you say, and make sure that meaning is understood. Become a trusted source of accurate, honest information.
Catch Opportunities.
“That’s not in my job description” “ It’s not my responsibility.” How many times have we heard these phrases? The perceptions that these phrases can create are damaging to our overall personal brand. I always encourage my clients to take advantage of relevant opportunities. If you are presented with the opportunity to work on a task or project --- even if the opportunity isn't directly connected to one’s current responsibilities, employees should consider the connection to future roles/responsibilities before turning away an opportunity. If there is a connection to a future job or if the opportunity will put you in front of important people, then catch the opportunity being thrown your way. Always consider the requester and the request.
Connect. Connect. Connect.
In addition to catching opportunities to work on relevant projects, we must take advantage of opportunities to connect with relevant people. Who is relevant to your career advancement? Network and create connections that create win-win situations. What can you bring to the relationship; and what value does your new connection bring?
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Not every uncomfortable situation is meant to send us packing and headed for the hills! Many of us find power, relevance, and growth in work situations that are not ideal, because these situations push us to be resourceful, innovative, and unconventional in our approach. We must use our judgement, along with the 6 C’s to create the optimal situation for our professional lives.
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Acknowledgements: Images courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net; Marcolm at FreeDigitalPhotos.net; and Franky242 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.
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